Just Playin'
Random Thoughts...
Thursday, July 14, 2005

Weird, true stuff that will be in my next book.....

In a child molest case involving an 11 year old girl and before the jury was brought into the courtroom, I asked the defense lawyer what was the first name of his witness listed as "Dr. Chevalier". Being a smart ass the prosecutor said, "is it Maurice?" ...perhaps not realizing that the song that made Maurice famous was "Thank Heaven for Little Girls"

In that same case, a juror listed their occupation as a "4 year old teacher"

******

One time a prosecutor said to a prospective juror during voir dire: "You must be impartial- you almost have to wear the rubber, er, the robe of the judge..." Same prosecutor during final argument: "I guess I'm just beating a dead horse to death."

******
Public Defender during voir dire: "Have you ever been forced to do something you really didn't want to?"

Prospective juror: "Not until today!"

******

Defense counsel to a witness: "Can you put yourself back in time to that date?"

She couldn't

******

A defense lawyer puts his client on the stand. "Why did you steal the car?"

"Because I wanted to kill myself in it."

The lawyer then asks, "Well, did you do it?"

******

A female lawyer in voir dire asked a male juror "Do you have any children?"

When he said, "No" she said "Well, fantasize with me..."

******

A Defendant was charged with child molest and sexual battery of 3 young teens. His girlfriend of many years says at his sentencing that "he has been involved with these kids since before their conception."

*****

In a fender-bender auto accident case a chiropractor was testifying about his treatment of the plaintiff. Defense counsel asks, "When was the last time you saw her?" His answer? "You mean totally, totally the last time?"


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