Just Playin'
Random Thoughts...
Friday, August 19, 2005

Elevator Etiquette

I just wanted to drop in for a second on Kelly's blog and vent. However, first some disclosure. Yes, it was me who told Kelly her blog was becoming a little stale. The complete term I think I used was "your blog is quickly becoming the official blog of 'Lifetime, Television for Women.'" But you blog what you know, and hey, if you insist on going to a hetero realtor, your life is bound to be boring.

Anyway, elevators suck. More specifically, the people who ride elevators suck. And being in a building with multiple businesses and security features that makes taking the elevator necessary for even short trips sucks even more. A few common complaints:

1. If you are more than 10 feet from the entrance of the elevator and I don't know you, I am not holding the elevator. Don't expect it, and don't shoot me dirty looks through the small gap left in the doors when you finally approach.
2. When entering a elevator, it is considered acceptable to first wait to let those exiting the elevator do so without hinderence. It is much harder to enter a elevator compartment full of people rather than an empty one devoid of people.
3. When I bring in baked goods for my coworkers in a bag and enter the elevator with them, and I don't know you, don't ask me what's in the bag. And when you find out, don't look at me like I am going to give you some. I'm not. I am an excellent cook, but I only share it with those I know and like. I don't know you. And what the hell are you thinking, trying to get food off of strangers?
4. I don't have deep thoughts often. And when I do, it is pretty obvious in my facial expressions. So when I am in deep thought and am in the elevator with only you, shut up. Don't try to engage me in conversation about the weather. I don't know you. And it's hot. We only have to go up seven floors. Shut up. I have broken up with boyfriends who talked too much (but then, I have also broken up with guys who didn't talk enough-I guess it's hard to find that happy medium) and if I don't want it in an boyfriend, I don't want it in a stranger.

Did I leave any out?
Chuck


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