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Monday, March 19, 2007

Note To Self

Self,

Please make an effort to never again go clothes shopping, which activity you already greatly dislike, when: it is 3:30pm and all you've had to eat all day is one piece of peppermint flavored Orbit gum, (shopping apparently requires energy), the mall is full of teenagers in cheerleading outfits accompanied by their rail-thin mothers, you are all broken out on your back and forehead and you are sick and tired of looking at yourself in the mirror, the sweater you are wearing creates gobs of static electricity, alternately causing your already flat hair to stick to your head and stick up in a million different directions and you are sick and tired of looking at yourself in the mirror, you have the sniffles but forgot to bring tissues with you, and the only available dressing room in your store of choice is occupied by a woman who is modeling shorts for her husband who says, "too big - you need a size zero," to which she responds, "but they don't have that size here!"

Making a mental note of the above shopping guidelines may ensure more successful, or at least less stressful, shopping trips in the future.

Love,
Kel


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